I’ve been working as a therapist for a long while now, and was recently reviewing my case files.
It was interesting to see a pattern emerge from the amazing stories that I’ve heard from my many clients.
In Chinese medicine, it’s always important to look for the etiology of a problem, or the root cause. It seems that in 90% of the cases I see that there is an emotional root to the problems.
Please forgive the broad-brush strokes, but from experience, these following patterns have emerged.
In Chinese medicine a great deal of importance is given to what they call Prenatal Qi.
To sum this up It’s like our understanding of Genetics and Epigenetics; on a very basic level, what are the emotions of the parents before and during conception, what are the physical states of the parents? (Drunk, weak, traumatised etc…)
In Chinese medicine factors such as the time of the year, heavenly alignments and so forth all play a role. (As we know the ancient Chinese were very into their astrology.)
Postnatal Qi is what happens after the “dice have been rolled” for you by your parents and the Universe!
From the moment of your birth, other factors take control.
Did you have a peaceful birth or a traumatic one?
Were you adopted at birth?
Were you dropped on your head as a child!
Would you describe your up-bringing as Victorian parenting? (My parents loved me, they just never said so.)
Were your parents abusive to you or each other?
Were one or both of your parents alcoholic?
Were one or both of your parents narcissistic or selfish?
Were you brought up in a strong religious structure? (Being brought up as a Catholic, I understand all too well the idea that at the age of five you might discover that YOU put that nice man on the cross to die!!)
What about your schooling – such a formative time.
Did school stop you from being a creative person?
Did school terrify you?
Were you bullied by pupils or teachers?
Were you sent away from your family for long periods?
Some people see school as the thing that made them who they are, and formed all their important relationships, to others it was hell on earth.
During these formative childhood years, did your school or your parents (Possibly both) undermine your confidence, and sense of self?
What about your young sex life and relationships?
Did you always pick the wrong partner?
Did you decide on one partner, give it your all for years, and then have them walk out?
Do you feel that your relationships have scarred you?
Maybe you experimented sexually or with narcotics and left yourself feeling lost or debased?
Then there’s grief, how many times do I find myself talking to clients who have been broken by the loss of a significant other? (My father died when I was a young man, I understand this loss all too well.)
Everybody loses their grandparents and their parents during their lives, that’s just the nature of nature! What effect it’ll have on us, on the other hand, is totally unpredictable, some people “cry it out” and then move on, some people push it down so deep inside and brave it through, that there’s little wonder it surface in other ways later in life.
God forbid that you should ever have the trauma of losing a child, loss of parents are bad enough, I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child.
Finally there are a few last thoughts..
Loss of self can be a very painful thing. Giving yourself so completely to family or work, that you hardly exist anymore.
On a similar vein, dedicating yourself to giving to others, so that you deplete your energy to such a degree, that you slide into illness.
And we haven’t even thought about physical damage, sports injuries, car crashes even trauma at birth can all leave their scars.
So, what’s the point of listing all these “slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune?”
Well, it’s just to say this – I’m constantly amazed by the strength and power of the human body, spirit and mind! – The incredible power that lies inside of us, to heal and surmount life’s difficulties.
It seems that if we are “lucky” enough not to have TWO traumas thrust upon us at the same period of time, then we’ll generally “get through” our problems.
(Often I see Chronic illness develop after a particularly stressful period of a person’s life..such as.. “My mother died, who I was very close too, and in the same year my business failed..” – The double whammy effect is really apt to bring on the major illnesses. Usually about 5 – 7 years after the traumatic times – but neither guaranteed or an exact time span!)
It’s the nature of these wounds that I have recently been exploring. You can’t see the scar tissue. The patterns are not obvious.
I do however recommend that one does some personal digging, by way of an life insurance policy.
By that, I hope to spark an awareness in my readers, that it’s worthwhile looking at what makes you tick.
I read an excellent book by David Servan-Schreiber, called ‘Healing without Freud and Prozac.’ In this book he looked at many methods of getting to the root of problems, in his opinion it wasn’t possible to access these through talk therapy or drugs, and that things such as Qigong, Acupuncture, Reflexology and Nutrition were better doorways to accessing trauma.
Personally, I have worked with an excellent hypnotist and regression therapist, (Thanks Hazel!) which I found to be a very productive way to look deeper than my conscious mind could ever do.
What I’m saying here is DO go looking, D’ONT keep it all inside, cos it will surely rear its ugly head later in your life.
If you need my help – don’t hesitate to ask, Medical Qigong and Chinese Psychology has a great deal to offer.
